Post by Drfleelix on Dec 25, 2014 3:37:13 GMT
Twas the night before christmas, and all through the zone
The commenters were commenting about the talking stone
when 11:00 came round, they all went to sleep
in the hopes that saint wojkik through the window would leap
he'd slip them dead flies and other strange goodies
and maybe consume their eggnog and stale cookies
All were excited, jammies stuffed with excretion
except for one, who hated the whole season
Drfleelix sat up at the top of mount fuckshit
and down on the comment zone, a great gob he did spit
a cigar in his mouth, and an ashtray at hand
he looked down miserably at the festive land
he stuck his cigar in his tray of black ash
and scowled atop his mountain of trash
Fleelix hated christmas, the whole lot of it
this is mostly because he didn't get shit
Every year he was left with a big pile of air
and another whole year of hate and despair
for 50 whole years he'd put up with this now
he decided to stop christmas from coming, but how?
Then he got an idea
a shitty idea
Drfleelix got a seriously shitty idea
"all this christmas stuff I've just had enough"
"so I'll make them miserable too" he said in a huff
he started to type mean and miserable words
that scattered the comment zone like little black turds
he called venvel a butthole
trar a dick
glumdrop a grimy old shit coated stick
then little zuzu who was no more than two
Replied to Fleelix after being called a poopoo
The message contained, "Drfleelix why?"
"Why are you being a douchebag, why?"
"Its not a season to be a jerk, but a season of giving"
Giving to Fleelix was the worst part of living
"No time to talk fuckhead" Fleelix spat out quick
"I'm on a roll here, these insults are sick"
A while did pass, when Fleelix tired himself out
And got rather bored, so he logged out
He lit up his cig, and wheezed a great titter
the feeling of laughing though made him quite bitter
He cackled at the thought of what the commenters must feel
how they'd sob, how they'd cry, rage steam and squeal
but the very next day when he checked back on the group
his grin quickly turned to a sagging green droop
they weren't mad, why the whole lot seemed rather merry
Impossible, but they were merry, very
For every insult and bash he tossed at the lot
they laughed right along, enraged they were not
Fleelix didn't ruin christmas, he made it more sunny
his cruel spouts of bitterness they all found quite funny
Fleelix thought for a bit, he itched his black sores
then he thought up of something he hadn't before
"What if happiness" he thought "is not all that dumb"
"What if all this time I'VE been the lowlife dumb scum "
He puzzled and puzzled til his puzzler did throb
then realized that he was in fact right all along
there was no lesson to be learned from this stuff
the world is a miserable place, you need to be tough
he learned nothing that christmas, not a damn thing
and went back to hating absolutely everything
THE END
The commenters were commenting about the talking stone
when 11:00 came round, they all went to sleep
in the hopes that saint wojkik through the window would leap
he'd slip them dead flies and other strange goodies
and maybe consume their eggnog and stale cookies
All were excited, jammies stuffed with excretion
except for one, who hated the whole season
Drfleelix sat up at the top of mount fuckshit
and down on the comment zone, a great gob he did spit
a cigar in his mouth, and an ashtray at hand
he looked down miserably at the festive land
he stuck his cigar in his tray of black ash
and scowled atop his mountain of trash
Fleelix hated christmas, the whole lot of it
this is mostly because he didn't get shit
Every year he was left with a big pile of air
and another whole year of hate and despair
for 50 whole years he'd put up with this now
he decided to stop christmas from coming, but how?
Then he got an idea
a shitty idea
Drfleelix got a seriously shitty idea
"all this christmas stuff I've just had enough"
"so I'll make them miserable too" he said in a huff
he started to type mean and miserable words
that scattered the comment zone like little black turds
he called venvel a butthole
trar a dick
glumdrop a grimy old shit coated stick
then little zuzu who was no more than two
Replied to Fleelix after being called a poopoo
The message contained, "Drfleelix why?"
"Why are you being a douchebag, why?"
"Its not a season to be a jerk, but a season of giving"
Giving to Fleelix was the worst part of living
"No time to talk fuckhead" Fleelix spat out quick
"I'm on a roll here, these insults are sick"
A while did pass, when Fleelix tired himself out
And got rather bored, so he logged out
He lit up his cig, and wheezed a great titter
the feeling of laughing though made him quite bitter
He cackled at the thought of what the commenters must feel
how they'd sob, how they'd cry, rage steam and squeal
but the very next day when he checked back on the group
his grin quickly turned to a sagging green droop
they weren't mad, why the whole lot seemed rather merry
Impossible, but they were merry, very
For every insult and bash he tossed at the lot
they laughed right along, enraged they were not
Fleelix didn't ruin christmas, he made it more sunny
his cruel spouts of bitterness they all found quite funny
Fleelix thought for a bit, he itched his black sores
then he thought up of something he hadn't before
"What if happiness" he thought "is not all that dumb"
"What if all this time I'VE been the lowlife dumb scum "
He puzzled and puzzled til his puzzler did throb
then realized that he was in fact right all along
there was no lesson to be learned from this stuff
the world is a miserable place, you need to be tough
he learned nothing that christmas, not a damn thing
and went back to hating absolutely everything
THE END
