Ralph
Frequent Core Shifter
Soup is not my favorite food.
Posts: 1,422
Favorite Disease: The Uncommon Cold
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Post by Ralph on Jan 15, 2015 5:25:02 GMT
Do your characters have any stories they want, or are forced, to tell? They can tell them here, in their own style and voice. They can even give their thoughts on other characters stories.
I'll start.
Ralph: My first real experience in butchery would probably be back in college. I had went home for the Thanksgiving weekend when my dad, who is roughly 8 feet tall, bear in mind, told me that it was my turn to get the turkey and "become a man". I tried to explain that I was already an adult, but we were already in the car driving to the grocery store, or at least that's what I thought. When we drove straight past the store, I told my dad to go back, but he just said "Only them pansies go to the store. Real men get their meat from the woods." He said some other stuff, but I probably shouldn't repeat them as they were fairly racist.
Now, I don't want to say that he "abandoned" me in the woods, I prefer to say that he "physically threw me out of a moving car" into the woods. Now, I'm not sure if there even were any turkeys in the woods, by he had already driven away. I found a wood axe and did some looking around. After a while, I had finally found something that looked close enough to a turkey.
I got the jump on the bird, and I have to say that the term "Killed Instantly" has really been taken for granted. Because that bird would just not die. I kept hacking away at it, it was screaming at the top of its lungs, blood was everywhere, eventually I had to resort to pulling out organs. After about 45 minutes, it was finally down for the count and I drag the thing back home. The dinner wasn't so bad, but my dad kept saying that it didn't suffer enough.
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Post by gobby gobberson on Jan 15, 2015 5:30:36 GMT
Do your characters have any stories they want, or are forced, to tell? They can tell them here, in their own style and voice. They can even give their thoughts on other characters stories. I'll start. Ralph: My first real experience in butchery would probably be back in college. I had went home for the Thanksgiving weekend when my dad, who is roughly 8 feet tall, bear in mind, told me that it was my turn to get the turkey and "become a man". I tried to explain that I was already an adult, but we were already in the car driving to the grocery store, or at least that's what I thought. When we drove straight past the store, I told my dad to go back, but he just said "Only them pansies go to the store. Real men get their meat from the woods." He said some other stuff, but I probably shouldn't repeat them as they were fairly racist. Now, I don't want to say that he "abandoned" me in the woods, I prefer to say that he "physically threw out of a moving car" into the woods. Now, I'm not sure if there even were any turkeys in the woods, by he had already driven away. I found a wood axe and did some looking around. After a while, I had finally found something that looked close enough to a turkey. I got the jump on the bird, and I have to say that the term "Killed Instantly" has really been taken for granted. Because that bird would just not die. I kept hacking away at it, it was screaming at the top of its lungs, blood was everywhere, eventually I had to resort to pulling out organs. After about 45 minutes, it was finally down for the count and I drag the thing back home. The dinner wasn't so bad, but my dad kept saying that it didn't suffer enough. ...Okay, I think you had a pretty bad "child"hood...
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Ralph
Frequent Core Shifter
Soup is not my favorite food.
Posts: 1,422
Favorite Disease: The Uncommon Cold
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Post by Ralph on Jan 15, 2015 5:33:42 GMT
Do your characters have any stories they want, or are forced, to tell? They can tell them here, in their own style and voice. They can even give their thoughts on other characters stories. I'll start. Ralph: My first real experience in butchery would probably be back in college. I had went home for the Thanksgiving weekend when my dad, who is roughly 8 feet tall, bear in mind, told me that it was my turn to get the turkey and "become a man". I tried to explain that I was already an adult, but we were already in the car driving to the grocery store, or at least that's what I thought. When we drove straight past the store, I told my dad to go back, but he just said "Only them pansies go to the store. Real men get their meat from the woods." He said some other stuff, but I probably shouldn't repeat them as they were fairly racist. Now, I don't want to say that he "abandoned" me in the woods, I prefer to say that he "physically threw out of a moving car" into the woods. Now, I'm not sure if there even were any turkeys in the woods, by he had already driven away. I found a wood axe and did some looking around. After a while, I had finally found something that looked close enough to a turkey. I got the jump on the bird, and I have to say that the term "Killed Instantly" has really been taken for granted. Because that bird would just not die. I kept hacking away at it, it was screaming at the top of its lungs, blood was everywhere, eventually I had to resort to pulling out organs. After about 45 minutes, it was finally down for the count and I drag the thing back home. The dinner wasn't so bad, but my dad kept saying that it didn't suffer enough. ...Okay, I think you had a pretty bad "child"hood... Ralph: Well, what kinda childhood did you have?
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Post by gobby gobberson on Jan 15, 2015 5:36:18 GMT
...Okay, I think you had a pretty bad "child"hood... Ralph: Well, what kinda childhood did you have? ...Some gobtraz guy killed almost my whole family so I think I had it a bit worse...
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Ralph
Frequent Core Shifter
Soup is not my favorite food.
Posts: 1,422
Favorite Disease: The Uncommon Cold
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Post by Ralph on Jan 15, 2015 5:38:04 GMT
Ralph: Well, what kinda childhood did you have? ...Some gobtraz guy killed almost my whole family so I think I had it a bit worse... Ralph: Do you have any... fond memories of them?
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Post by gobby gobberson on Jan 15, 2015 5:39:33 GMT
...Some gobtraz guy killed almost my whole family so I think I had it a bit worse... Ralph: Do you have any... fond memories of them? ...Yeah...
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Ralph
Frequent Core Shifter
Soup is not my favorite food.
Posts: 1,422
Favorite Disease: The Uncommon Cold
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Post by Ralph on Jan 15, 2015 5:41:16 GMT
Ralph: Do you have any... fond memories of them? ...Yeah... Ralph: Well, do you have any interesting stories?
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Post by gobby gobberson on Jan 15, 2015 5:44:26 GMT
Ralph: Well, do you have any interesting stories? Yeah, I have a few... ((Let me think of some first, I came here to comment on others first))
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Ralph
Frequent Core Shifter
Soup is not my favorite food.
Posts: 1,422
Favorite Disease: The Uncommon Cold
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Post by Ralph on Jan 15, 2015 5:46:08 GMT
Ralph: Well, do you have any interesting stories? Yeah, I have a few... ((Let me think of some first, I came here to comment on others first)) Ralph: Well, you can talk about them when you feel comfortable. In the meantime, anybody else want to share?
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Post by Cordyceps sapiens on Jan 15, 2015 6:04:49 GMT
Yeah, I have a few... ((Let me think of some first, I came here to comment on others first)) Ralph: Well, you can talk about them when you feel comfortable. In the meantime, anybody else want to share? When I was a little girl in Batfuck Nowhere, Alaska, I saw the Mothman leaping off the roof of my neighbor's house. This was before he made it big down in the Pine Barrens, but I hear celebrity hasn't gone to his head. Anyway, the war was on at the time, so my first thought was that he was a Japanese spy.
Everyone I talked to said it was just an owl, even after I drew them pictures. Well, I know what I saw: an owl or a monster. Ain't nobody can convince me otherwise.
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The Caveman
Fresh from the Seething
Posts: 6
Favorite Disease: I WAS FROZEN TODAY
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Post by The Caveman on Jan 15, 2015 6:20:08 GMT
*a block of ice with a caveman inside solemnly shuffles in and he hangs up his hat on the rack... somehow. He sits down and stared into space for a moment. Obviously troubled and haunted by long forgotten events of his past, his gruff voice showing his sadness* Let me tell you all... Let me tell you the story about a caveman. His name was Grob. His clan was attacked and eaten by Saberteeth. But Grob got by. Every winter he'd freeze and shiver in his tattered skins and cowboy hat. But Grob got by. He wasn't the bravest, or the strongest, or the fastest, and he'd lose a tooth every now and then. But grob had heart, and Grob got by. Grob... He had a wife. A wife an' two daughters. He wasn't the best hunter and his big meaty hands were unsuited to be a gatherer, so he had trouble supplying for his family. On top of that, they lived in a cave separate from the other neanderthals. But he loved his family and he loved them. Winters were harsh and summers brought dry spells that made the beasts migrate away from his valley, so food was scarce. One day, he cornered a mammoth. He cornered it and he drove it off a cliff. It was more food than he or his family had ever seen in their entire lives. So Grob and his family took all the meat they could and they traded the rest to some of those strange stringy 'human' people with the tools. They traded that meat for Fire. Fire was beautiful, but Grob knew it was dangerous. He knew it could burn away the forests and kill all the food. He knew the beasts feared it and it would keep them out of his cave and away from his family when he went out hunting. It was a godsend. It kept them warm in the winter, it cooked their food, and it made the beasts leave them alone. For once, it seemed like all of Grob's struggles were for something. It looked like everything was going right. Until one fateful night. See, back in Grob's time, there was no law. Only the strongest would survive. the other cavemen grew jealous and they asked Grob for fire. But Grob knew they couldn't handle the fire. Grob knew what could happen if they let the fire go out of control, and he refused to let them have it. This angered them. So one day, they held him up. They brought him back to their camp and they let him eat their special berries. He didn't know the berries were poisonous. They didn't kill him, but the berries knocked him out cold for a day, where he woke up in the middle of the woods. Alone and far away from his usual hunting trail. The berries made him hallucinate and shit blood for a day after that. When he finally came to his senses, he went to his cave and found that his fire was gone and his wife and children were long dead. A sabertooth had taken up residence in his cave and had eaten the remains of his family... *The Caveman stops to collect himself here, a single tear rolling down his cheek... despite him being completely frozen...* Grob was mad. Very mad. He killed that sabertooth with nothing but a rock and the burning in his heart. Grob cried. He cried for a full day. He buried the bones of his wife and daughters and in doing so he discovered something that brought a whole new rage upon him. Wooden spears lodged into them. Not those strange stone-tipped things the humanfolk used, but the crudely sharpened wood sticks of his fellow neanderthals. He knew what he had to do. He took that sabretooth's carcass and gave it to the humanfolk as a gift if they would accept him into their tribe and teach him their ways. They were not impressed, but they accepted him nonetheless. They taught him. they taught him how to hunt and how to fish and how to craft their tools out of stone and bone. and one day, when there was no more to learn, he left them. Grob had work to do. Be crafted weapons and he built traps and he learned to stay hidden. He tracked down those other neanderthals and with that same rage that let him kill that sabretooth, he killed them... He killed every last one of them. It was... it was a massacre. And when he was done, he burned them. He burned them all away in that fire that they wanted so badly from him. He showed them the fire... He brought them the fire... *pause, staring out into space* He knew the other cavemen would find out, and that the humanfolk wouldn't accept him back... but he didn't care. His family was avenged and he had a purpose... He would bring the fire. He bring justice to those other cavemen. He knew he could no longer be the caveman he once was. Not after All Those Murders He Committed He would be a new neanderthal. It was up to him to be the law of that cold and unforgiving paleolithic world... He would be... The Sheriff... *he takes a deep breath. Still frozen, and collects his hat.* I thank you for your time... *And the caveman shuffles his iceblock off into the sunset*
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Grigor Mortis
Kidney Stone Breeder
i want to get off mr. bones' wild ride
Posts: 2,272
Favorite Disease: The Boneshakes
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Post by Grigor Mortis on Jan 15, 2015 22:38:37 GMT
ONE TIME. WITH MY GIANT OBSIDIAN LEGS. I CRUSHED A HELPLESS CHARTREUSE SHUBGRUBBER. I STILL CRY IN MY SLEEP TO THIS DAY.
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Ralph
Frequent Core Shifter
Soup is not my favorite food.
Posts: 1,422
Favorite Disease: The Uncommon Cold
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Post by Ralph on Jan 17, 2015 4:15:49 GMT
Connie: Well, I've always loved bugs, but I'd say I got my idea from this one incident that happened when I was a little girl. I was climbing a tree in my backyard when at the top, I found a fly that was slightly bigger than most. Before I could get a better look at it, I slipped, hit my jaw on the branch, and fell all the way to the ground.
When I got up, I was only a little scraped and bruised, but I had the weirdest feeling in my stomach. My dad was a doctor, so I went to his room and got a stethoscope. I listened around for a bit before I heard something. A buzzing sound.
I was kinda creeped out, but I decided not to tell anybody in case they... assumed something. I had a bit of a stomachache for the next three days, but it wasn't too bad. Evidently my sleep schedule wasn't the standard, because I could still hear the buzzing when I tried to sleep. On the second day, I felt even sicker, and the buzzing became even louder. Whenever I ate anything, it grew even louder.
On the third day, I was sent home from school due to how sick I felt. I lied down in bed waiting for it to go away. And then, something you might find hard to believe happened. Out of my mouth flew the same fly from the tree. Followed by a crowd of similar, but slightly smaller flies.
It's kind of hard to forget something like that, of course, and it's probably a good thing I already like bugs, or I might have been traumatized by the whole ordeal.
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Post by ThatOneGuy on Jan 18, 2015 4:09:11 GMT
*A book appears on a nearby table. It says "Benny's diary" on the cover, and has a lock on it. There is a silver key next to the book.*
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Ralph
Frequent Core Shifter
Soup is not my favorite food.
Posts: 1,422
Favorite Disease: The Uncommon Cold
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Post by Ralph on Jan 18, 2015 4:22:07 GMT
*A book appears on a nearby table. It says "Benny's diary" on the cover, and has a lock on it. There is a silver key next to the book.* *Connie unlocks the book and opens it*
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